Looking Back

Time has a way of making us fools. When we as people begin to feel in control and feel nothing can faze us, time knocks us gently on the back of our heads and forces us to turn around. And turning around is a fascinating thing.

Our lives, no matter how mundane or normal we think they have been, are filled with memories. The tears we cried when we felt our fingers slip from our parents’ hands and we walked to school for the first time. The uncaring laughter we shared with our very first friends. The incredible experience of having a story unfold before our very eyes in the cinemas. The first time we felt that swooping sensation in the pit of our stomach, the daydreaming which told us we had fallen in love. The despair, the loneliness we felt when something didn’t work out. The tears we shed when we said goodbye to our school friends with a promise to keep in touch but never did. Our first day in college, our first job, the day we set out to do something, the day we created something. These memories, these moments etched in time, these indelible moments, they move us, shCapture1ape us and create us.

Four years ago, I created my wordpress account. It was a time when I badly needed a release for a lot of frustration. Writing helped me do that. The years in college changed me and helped me mature as a person. And all through that I wrote. I wont claim to be the most dedicated person because I haven’t been. I took  many a hiatus, sometimes for too long. But something dragged me back. Something that was mine. This place right here. This website, this URL. This is mine, and I created it. This is my fortress, my palace, and to quote JK Rowling, “it will always be there to welcome me home”.

In these four years, I have matured, evolved and shared some experiences which will hopefully help someone like me. I had the good fortune of getting to know some wonderful people, and making some good friends. I was fortunate to have a great support group. And all I want to say is “Thank You”.

Paul Heyman said, “I don’t look back. I never spend my time looking back, I spend my time looking forward.” I agree with Mr. Heyman completely. But I feel, at least sometimes, we need to look back. Not to sit and cry over the days that are behind us, but to learn from our mistakes. And take pride in whatever good we did. We need to look forward constantly, but we need the help of our past to create our future.

Before I take leave, I want to say one more thing. All of us have made mistakes in our past. I have done some things which I am not proud of. But that realization that I made those mistakes and the simple realization that those were in fact mistakes makes us a pretty good human being. We can always redeem ourselves. We cannot change our past, we can change our future.

Our past did indeed shape us, but our past doesn’t have to define us.