Invisible

Do you remember the time when you were little, and in awe of superheroes? We all had our favourites -Superman, Spiderman, Batman and so on. And we used to ask each other the question “If you could have one superpower, what would it be?” Some of us wanted to fly, some wanted inhuman strength. For me it was being invisible. I cannot remember why I wanted to be invisible, to be honest. Oh, and if that seems a little perverted to you, I’d advise to get your mind washed, because it had obviously been 170049-im-invisiblein the gutter. But to the matter at hand, we all wished we had those superpowers, but we never got them. Right? For mortals like you maybe. I am living my dream.

I am invisible.

But not in the way I imagined. Or the way you imagined. People can see me alright, and I am about as solid as the brick wall I didn’t see because I was thinking about this post. But I am invisible to a lot of people. I’ve had people come up to me after three years in college and say, “I have never seen you. Do we go to the same college?” Girls won’t look twice at me (or even once, ’cause I’m invisible baby…), and I have never had a girlfriend (*hint* I am single šŸ˜€ ).

I can see you pulling out your puppy eyes and feeling sorry for me, but don’t be. I chose this. I forced myself into this corner. And I have no regrets (well, maybe the girlfriend thing makes me sad a little…). But being an introvert, it actually is a lot better to be invisible. I don’t like to party, and I don’t do small talk with people I barely know. I smile at them, and they smile back, and that’s it. Anything more than that will make me uncomfortable. This is probably why I became invisible in the first place. I don’t go out and mingle with people, I tend to have a couple of friends with whom I talk deeply and intensely. I stay away from raucous celebrations and parties, I tend to prefer reading a book, watching a movie or writing. Given these facts, it is actually a blessing to be invisible because then I don’t get invited to anything, so I don’t have to bother coming up with an excuse (apparently I am an introvert is not acceptable…).

To all the extroverts reading this, you guys are perfect. You represent the perfect human being that society envisions. You represent the extrovert ideal that came up after globalization. I want to talk to the introverts. It’s okay to be different. It’s okay to want to spend time alone, and not go to parties. It’s fine to just have a few friends and not be the gregarious one. It’s fine to be you. I am not asking you not to change. I am asking you not to change for others. We are fine the way the Lord created us.

I don’t know why, but I want to leave these lines…If you have time just ponder on these…

“We can’t all be captains,
We’ve got to be crew.”

 

Advertisements

Portrait of a Loner

He walked the tarred road with his friends. The air was still but a certain pleasant coolness hung around the air. Despite the chill, he was sweating mildly. He wiped the sweat off his lips with his hand as he watched the people around him. Not his friends. Not them. The others. The ones that made him uneasy.

The road was bustling with people. People laughing, enjoying, taking pictures and talking loudly. The kind of people that he hated and dreaded at the same time. The people who were quite unlike him, different from him, and – he realized with a sting- people he desperately wanted to be like. Next to him, his friends laughed. So did he, but you could sense it was a hollow laugh. he hadn’t heard a word of what they had said. But it was convincing, as if he had been giving that sort of a laugh for a long time now. No, he wasn’t listening to them. he was lost in his world, his thoughts, the same thoughts that he found solace in, where he built his beautiful empire, and strangely the same thoughts that sometimes attempted to strangle him.

His eyes scanned the crowd, flitting from person to person, face to face, but he had become so good at it that no one around him realized. He was browsing the entire crowd with no
one noticing. And then the source of the noise came into sight. A small building stood on the side of the road, but they wouldn’t have noticed it if they hadn’t known it was there. The hall was surrounded by people. People wearing smart dresses, neatly brushed up attires. He looked down at his own faded T-shirt and jeans. He felt undressed, he felt out of place. They all stopped near the crowd. None of them wanted to go inside. They just wanted to stand there and watch. Music was playing somewhere near, and a smallĀ distance away, people were dancing. He looked around. he didn’t recognize anyone, and he didn’t expect to either. He was hardly popular, he barely knew anyone.

A group of people moved close to them. Girls and boys were holding hands, taking selfies, and girls were pouting. He looked away, as though the sight burned him. But he couldn’t avert his eyes. Everywhere he looked it was the same thing. Girls and boys were talking, laughing and enjoying, even dancing. He was uncomfortable. HisĀ friends didn’t seem to notice because visibly he was disinterested. He was merely looking bored, but inside he was burning. He moved his eyes one more time and saw a girl standing alone a few feet from him. She was quite pretty, and stunningly dressed.She was sweating slightly in the warmth, and it turned him on. He kept watching her, and occasi
onally other girls as well, but a little later they all left with boys. The girl he was watching was still there, and he kept looking without anyone knowing. And then she turned. A boy had just joined her and she began talking to him.

He tore his eyes from the sight as he felt his heart sink a little. Everyone here had a boyfriend, and even if they didn’t they wouldn’t be interested in him. Definitely not someone like him. He had learned this years ago, but it still hurt. Moments like these hurt. He looked around and saw his friends still looking around, enjoying. None of them had any girlfriends, but they did, at some point. They were not like him. They didn’t feel the pain, only he did.

He turned around and walked back. But this time, he kept his eyes down. He didn’t want to see any more. He didn’t want to see anything. Because he knew it would burn him. And he didn’t want to get burned again. Because he had been getting burned for a long time now. Quite a long time. It had begun nearly a decade ago. And it still continued to this day.