Human beings are superior to animals primarily due to their ability to communicate. But given this superiority it is fascinating how much is left unsaid. If you ask me, we are penny wise and pound foolish, meaning we blurt out incessantly all the superfluous and trivial things, we speak for hours on end about the weather and about other people, but the really important things, ones which are close to our heart, are left unsaid. And it is often these little things left unsaid that cause us the most regret.
But why is it that we leave so many things unsaid? Why can’t we come out and profess our love, make comments about things and express our opinions? Why do we always censor whatever comes out of our mouth?
How am I supposed to answer that? I left so many things unsaid that they amount to more than what I have said in my entire lifetime. Crushes, so many of them, I never expressed one of them. I don’t know why. I made elaborate schemes of how to express them, but even when everything fell in place, I’d chicken out at the last moment. And the funniest thing is I lie to my friends, I lie to myself about it. I lie that this isn’t love, so why bother expressing it? Now how lame is that? It may not be love, but since I felt it I might as well say it out loud. Then again, I’m just kidding myself. I am bound by my family’s strictness, I am bound by a social anxiety disorder and I am bound by my view of myself.
I long for that day when I can speak freely, I long for that day when I can express my thoughts, I seriously long for those days when I can like a girl and tell her that.