“All the world is a stage…
And all the men and women merely players…”
These famous lines by Shakespeare are factual for me. The entire world is a stage, and all of us are playing a part. But contrary to a real drama on-stage, we are not necessarily acting. We are living. Because we are not playing a role, we are not presenting a character. We are playing ourselves. And sometimes I wonder how good it would be to play someone else. Someone who’s just not me. Then I’d be able to play the part without fear. Because whatever happens, however bad it turns out in the end, it is not me who ends up that way. It’s the character.
In life you don’t have that luxury. You are playing yourself. And however you end up, it’s on you. You can’t blame your co-stars, you cant blame the script. Because there is no script. This is improvisation at it’s best. Winner take all. Loser gets nothing. Its how you play your part.
And right now, on the dance floor of life, I have my performance coming up, and I’m petrified. I am terrified of the limelight, I’m anxious of making a mistake, I am scared of not making the cut. Above all, I am scared of my co-stars. Because it doesn’t matter how well you play your part, it matters that you play your part better than the rest. If you don’t, you drown in the depths of obscurity.
Coming out of the allegory, I have my exams coming up. Competitive exams that will decide whether I can pursue my PG studies in a prestigious institution or not. And the problem is, I can’t study. I don’t feel the urge to study. There is so much to study, and every time I open a book, it seems to me I’m looking at Greek and Latin. I can’t focus and I can’t concentrate. And the weirdest thing is, I am a straight A student.
When I’m studying for my usual semester exams, I don’t have a problem. I can go on for hours, I can study for hours on end and learn new concepts with ease. But when the bar is set a bit high, when the competitive exams come into play, I suck. I am nowhere in the equation. And pretty soon, I am about to prove myself incapable.
Any help would be greatly appreciated people !!!