A Roller Coaster Life

A college student talks life…or at least his version of it…

When the Eyes Don’t See

God has given us humans every gift to enjoy life. But perhaps the most important gift he has bestowed upon us is our eyes. Our ability to see. But it is often said that having eyes does not guarantee vision. And it is often true. There are times in our life when we have eyes but we fail to see.

My situation right now is something similar. I am going to college just a few hours from my home. I can go home at the drop of a dime. I have no issues with my classes, and have no issues in hostel. But still I am feeling down. I feel as if life has dumped a huge pile of crap on me. As much as I try to focus on the fact my life is considerably better than a lot of people, I just can focus on that. My eye is on the lookout for misery in the midst of happiness.

The glass is either half full or half empty depending on our outlook. But in my case my glass is three-quarters full, but I’m fixating on the last remaining quarter. But to be honest, even if that last remaining quarter were filled, I’d still be complaining about an overflowing glass. That is my problem, I want smooth sailing always. I want everything to go the way I want. But even then, I just can’t feel the happiness. Maybe that is because I, like many others, fail to grasp the meaning of life.

Without darkness, there will be no light. Just like that, misery is what makes our happiness more intense. The longer we are away from home, the sweeter the emotion when we return. The harder we fight, the sweeter the victory.

I hope I learn my lesson soon. But even if I don’t, I hope someone reading this does, and knows there are people just like us, going through the same experiences, hardships and revelations as us. 

Because writing is therapy. Not just for the writer, but for those who read as well.




Movie Review : Bangalore Days

I normally don’t do movie reviews, but I just felt I should do this. Bangalore Days is a malayalam movie that released nearly 2 weeks ago, and I had been hearing pretty good reviews about it. But owing to my exams and the fast selling tickets, I delayed the watch. And by the time I reached the theatre, I had pretty high expectations about the movie. And high expectations often lead to disappointment.

But not here.

Bangalore Days delivered, and it did on an exceptionally high note. The movie revolves around the lives of three cousins Aju (Dulquar Salman), Divya (Nazriya Nazim) and Kuttan (Nivin Pauly). It follows their journey from their daily lives in Kerala to Bangalore, on how their lives pass through happiness, sadness and finding love, but all the while, how they are always there for each other. It is a beautiful story of friendship, relations, love, and in short life. It focuses in particular on a point we all struggle with – about growing up, but at the same time wanting to cling on to childhood.  The star cast also includes Fahad Fasil, Parvathi, Nithya Menon and Esha Talwar.

What is most spectacular is that this story of life is served with a generous dose of humour, thanks in particular to Nivin Pauly. His character of a software engineer who is not happy with his profession strikes a chord. And his comedy is particularly endearing. The relationship between Nivin and Esha banks heavily on their superhit film Thattathin Marayathu, and this connection is especially awesome and well-done. (Seriously, hats off to Nivin…his ability to do comical, romantic and villainous roles, as seen in Da Thadiya, is just superb).

In short, Bangalore Days is a must watch. If you haven’t seen it, do so ASAP.

Rating: 4.5/5 

I’ve left so much unsaid, nothing I ever say can worth much…

I've left so much unsaid, nothing I ever say can worth much...


Human beings are superior to animals primarily due to their ability to communicate. But given this superiority it is fascinating how much is left unsaid. If you ask me, we are penny wise and pound foolish, meaning we blurt out incessantly all the superfluous and trivial things, we speak for hours on end about the weather and about other people, but the really important things, ones which are close to our heart, are left unsaid. And it is often these little things left unsaid that cause us the most regret.

But why is it that we leave so many things unsaid? Why can’t we come out and profess our love, make comments about things and express our opinions? Why do we always censor whatever comes out of our mouth?

How am I supposed to answer that? I left so many things unsaid that they amount to more than what I have said in my entire lifetime. Crushes, so many of them, I never expressed one of them. I don’t know why. I made elaborate schemes of how to express them, but even when everything fell in place, I’d chicken out at the last moment. And the funniest thing is I lie to my friends, I lie to myself about it. I lie that this isn’t love, so why bother expressing it? Now how lame is that? It may not be love, but since I felt it I might as well say it out loud. Then again, I’m just kidding myself. I am bound by my family’s strictness, I am bound by a social anxiety disorder and I am bound by my view of myself.

I long for that day when I can speak freely, I long for that day when I can express my thoughts, I seriously long for those days when I can like a girl and tell her that.


The Making of a (Rather Unknown) Writer Part 1: Shall We Begin???

[To all my readers, this is part one of a multi-part series about my journey into writing. It is intended to be humorous, while trying to include facts, and…hope you like it…]


What is common between Shakespeare, Wordsworth, Dan Brown, J K Rowling and me?

Don’t pull your hair out, I’ll tell you. We’re all writers.

Okay, maybe that was a little bit stretched, or maybe a little too much. I know even mentioning my name in the same line as the greats is sacrilege, but I’ll risk it. Because every time I put pen to paper (or as the case is nowadays, hand to keyboard…) I can’t help but thinking I am working on the same thing that Shakespeare and the others did. On the English language. Any active language must keep evolving or it is dead. And every time we write, we help evolve the language. Every time we write, we are laying the foundation for a new English. Every time we use a made up word in ” “, we may have invented a word that will go viral sometime in the future.

So my point is, writing is good. Writing is great.

If you know how to.


I began writing when I was a kid of maybe 10-11 years. I had just seen a Harry Potter movie and read a couple of books. Then one day it struck me – Why don’t I write a book? Who knows, maybe it will become a best seller, and I might become famous. The gullible 10 year old in me was too excited. I was going to be a star !!!

But my writing career was riddled with problems. First off was the problem of the story. What do I write about? Me? A 10 year old life doesn’t have much to write about.

Nature? This is a story, not a painting!!

Harry Potter !!! And all of a sudden I had an idea. Admitted, it was not a brand new idea, but I was 10. What did I know??

I created a whole new version of Harry Potter, titled…well I’ll just leave the title out for now. And it wasn’t a copy. Oh no, sir!!!

Harry was a half blood, my hero was a pure blood.

Well, that’s pretty much it…now that I think about it. I can’t check, I’ve lost the copies…

Mine had a Chamber of Secrets too, though it was named differently, we had a Triwizard Tournament as well, though ours had 4 schools, I even brought in the age old tradition of exchange students !!!


My second issue was where to write, and how to publish this.

We didn’t have a computer back then, and so that option was out. I don’t know if blogging was in vogue at that time. But I hadn’t heard of blogs, let alone wordpress at that time. My issue was solved when I found a couple of my old notebooks lying around. And guess what, they had a LOT of unused paper (don’t read anything else into it…). This pretty much killed two birds with one stone. I now had a place to write, and I now had a publisher. ME!!!

After writing I would stick the pages together or tie them together to create a rather crude form of a book. Most of the time it wasn’t that hard, because there were only so many pages. And so here I was, holding my first book in my hand, head held high, waiting for the fame and glory. Still waiting…


I didn’t have much of an audience, and so I had to rely on my family. Thankfully, I have a lot of cousins who love reading, and so I sold my book to them. As it was a pretty short read, I waited for them to finish, watching their faces, waiting for them to gasp or smile when the story so demanded. A couple of minutes later, they burst out laughing.

I was eager for a response, but this was just wrong. I don’t remember writing something this funny…

“What?” I asked.

They just looked at me and laughed. They handed me my book and pointed at a line. It was the part right after the Chamber was opened and students were confined to their dorms.

My parody of Ron was leaving the room, when Gerald, my version of Percy asks him where he was going.

“Come on Gerald, I just want to go to the bathroom”, was his reply.

Is this what they were laughing about? What was in it? I looked at them clueless, when they just rolled over laughing. I was just confused…and then it hit me. “Come On”, had another meaning, one which asks you to accompany. And couple that with the destination, and it was a pretty embarrassing first book…

They wouldn’t let me forget that for along time, and even though I wrote more books, I can only remember this one.

So I’ll leave this biography here for now…


Come On, I just want to….

Never mind.

Shirley Setia : The Future of Music

Shirley Setia : The Future of Music

Shirley Setia : A Singing Angel

A couple of months ago, I saw a post on my facebook timeline. It was a post like millions of others that I regularly skim through, barely caring about the contents. This post was about a girl singing. And I went, oh please, how many of these have I seen !!!

But needless to say, I checked the video out (okay, the girl was cute !!!). And then something happened. I was hooked. I subscribed to her channel, followed her page and am now regularly checking for updates and new songs. Because I just can’t get over her. I’m in love with her. And with her voice.

Her name is Shirley Setia. She is an Indian, currently living in Auckland, New Zealand. She sings mostly Hindi songs but has done two beautiful English covers as well (she started out singing Hillary Duff songs…).

I never really listened to songs. I barely cared for Hindi songs. The only songs I listened to were Sun Raha Hai Na Tu and Tum Hi Ho from Aashiqui 2. The first song I listened from her was Har Kisi Ko. I had never listened to the original, and I had no idea how it would sound like. But there was something in her voice that drew me towards the song. Somehow, the words that flowed out from her lips were magically entrancing me. They were drawing me closer to her, closer to the song. I was hooked. Big time. And then later I listened to the original and I was like – this is not how it should be sung !!! For me, Shirley’s version is the real one.

To draw a guy like me, who never listened to songs to the musical world, is nothing sort of amazing. Shirley did that, and because she did that, I can say she works miracles. A university student, working as an RJ at Radio Tarana, singing in a band, and finding time to pursue her dreams. For those of us who find it hard to balance study and leisure, and consequently let our dreams rot in the crevices of our minds, you are an inspiration Shirley.

I know Shirley doesn’t need any publicity, especially from a blog like mine, but this is my humble way of saying thank you, and to say I love you.


Please check out Shirley’s youtube channel and facebook page.


Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/shirleysetia

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shirleysetiamusic

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ShirleySetia

Two Years… and Counting !!!

I just signed into my wordpress account after a long time, and lo and behold. Today is the day I created my blog, two whole years ago !!! It is my second anniversary blogging, so let me take a trip down memory lane, with a few Q&As and some other quirks…


Q) Why did I start blogging?

I’m not sure, I had a blog registered to my real name before that, and I don’t know why I started that one either. I guess it was sort of a step in the right direction, to do something I love, to gain some followers and some popularity, none of which I got. Maybe that was because the blog was in my name, and I couldn’t rant on a blog which could easily be traced to me. So 2 years ago, I decided to start an anonymous blog. So here we are…

Q) How do I rate my journey so far?

Quite good. I’ve not scaled heights or become a better writer, I have not been featured on any must-read columns, but still I say the ride so far has been pretty good. I’ve made some good friends, particularly the girl over at Inconspicuous Beings, I’ve realized that there are people who share the same problems as me, and who find the strength to rise. That’s a pretty cool thing to be honest…

Q)Future goals and ambitions…

Don’t know to be honest. I want to build a better blog, but apart from that, no idea at all.I mean, I am pretty young (if you can call 21 young…), and one thing I have learnt about life is that your dreams, goals and ambitions change as you go. And it’s not a bad thing. Someway along the way, you’ll find your pace, your forte, and you’ll settle down. I am not scared in this big world, because I know the Lord is with me…

On Bloglovin….

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