A Roller Coaster Life

A college student talks life…or at least his version of it…

Shirley Setia : The Future of Music

Shirley Setia : The Future of Music

Shirley Setia : A Singing Angel

A couple of months ago, I saw a post on my facebook timeline. It was a post like millions of others that I regularly skim through, barely caring about the contents. This post was about a girl singing. And I went, oh please, how many of these have I seen !!!

But needless to say, I checked the video out (okay, the girl was cute !!!). And then something happened. I was hooked. I subscribed to her channel, followed her page and am now regularly checking for updates and new songs. Because I just can’t get over her. I’m in love with her. And with her voice.

Her name is Shirley Setia. She is an Indian, currently living in Auckland, New Zealand. She sings mostly Hindi songs but has done two beautiful English covers as well (she started out singing Hillary Duff songs…).

I never really listened to songs. I barely cared for Hindi songs. The only songs I listened to were Sun Raha Hai Na Tu and Tum Hi Ho from Aashiqui 2. The first song I listened from her was Har Kisi Ko. I had never listened to the original, and I had no idea how it would sound like. But there was something in her voice that drew me towards the song. Somehow, the words that flowed out from her lips were magically entrancing me. They were drawing me closer to her, closer to the song. I was hooked. Big time. And then later I listened to the original and I was like – this is not how it should be sung !!! For me, Shirley’s version is the real one.

To draw a guy like me, who never listened to songs to the musical world, is nothing sort of amazing. Shirley did that, and because she did that, I can say she works miracles. A university student, working as an RJ at Radio Tarana, singing in a band, and finding time to pursue her dreams. For those of us who find it hard to balance study and leisure, and consequently let our dreams rot in the crevices of our minds, you are an inspiration Shirley.

I know Shirley doesn’t need any publicity, especially from a blog like mine, but this is my humble way of saying thank you, and to say I love you.


Please check out Shirley’s youtube channel and facebook page.


Youtube: http://www.youtube.com/user/shirleysetia

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/shirleysetiamusic

Twitter: https://twitter.com/ShirleySetia

Two Years… and Counting !!!

I just signed into my wordpress account after a long time, and lo and behold. Today is the day I created my blog, two whole years ago !!! It is my second anniversary blogging, so let me take a trip down memory lane, with a few Q&As and some other quirks…


Q) Why did I start blogging?

I’m not sure, I had a blog registered to my real name before that, and I don’t know why I started that one either. I guess it was sort of a step in the right direction, to do something I love, to gain some followers and some popularity, none of which I got. Maybe that was because the blog was in my name, and I couldn’t rant on a blog which could easily be traced to me. So 2 years ago, I decided to start an anonymous blog. So here we are…

Q) How do I rate my journey so far?

Quite good. I’ve not scaled heights or become a better writer, I have not been featured on any must-read columns, but still I say the ride so far has been pretty good. I’ve made some good friends, particularly the girl over at Inconspicuous Beings, I’ve realized that there are people who share the same problems as me, and who find the strength to rise. That’s a pretty cool thing to be honest…

Q)Future goals and ambitions…

Don’t know to be honest. I want to build a better blog, but apart from that, no idea at all.I mean, I am pretty young (if you can call 21 young…), and one thing I have learnt about life is that your dreams, goals and ambitions change as you go. And it’s not a bad thing. Someway along the way, you’ll find your pace, your forte, and you’ll settle down. I am not scared in this big world, because I know the Lord is with me…

On Bloglovin….

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What Should I Write About When I Return???

What Should I Write About When I Return???

Returning Soon…

I know it’s been nearly a month since I blogged. I,m in a whirlwind of activity, plus I am experiencing a drought of ideas. I will be back pretty soon, say in a week or so, but till then, I would like to know what you guys want me to write about…Do comment !!!

Scared !!!

Scared !!!

Am I Nuts?

Everyone is certifiably a little nuts. It’s what makes us unique, it’s what defines us. It’s what makes us. But not me, oh no…I’m taking things to a whole new level. A level where I think I might need professional help. Which means admitting that I am mad. Which is a contradiction because mad people NEVER admit they are mad, they just pretend the other 99.99% are mad.

You get my dilemma….


I’m not mad. I’ll be the first to admit that (but was I a mad man, I’d still say that, so the choice is yours…).  But I have some issues. I’ve had some issues for quite a long time, and the problem is I can’t seem to pin-point those issues. I can google all night long and conclude that I suffer from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or Social Anxiety Disorder or Generalized Anxiety Disorder, and I have. But that’s just like searching for the genus of the monster that’s yanking me by the leg. It does no good. Plus it gives the monster enough time to sprinkle you with some pepper and salt to improve the taste (Do monsters even care about taste?? Anyways…)

What I mean is these names don’t convey what’s wrong with me. Somewhere, somehow in my mind, an idea has taken root. And that idea is the root of all my troubles. I just have to search for that idea, find it, and uproot it. There. Case solved.

Really? It’s about as easy as finding a needle in a haystack. I have to search through years of memories and experiences before I arrive at that specific idea. And ideas are like a virus. Resilient.

The other way is to try and reprogram the way my mind works. To try and fight, instead of invoking cartloads of anxiety and fleeing. Oh come on !!! Why are we still using the metaphors fight of flight?? We are not animals, nor are we hunter-gatherers !!! See what I mean…An idea is resilient.

Anyway, here’s my problem. I am scared. Plain and simple. Scared of what? There’s not enough paper in the world to write about. I’m scared about going outside, I’m scared of new situations. I’m scared of interacting with people. To put it into a new metaphor, I’d say I feel like I’m in someone else’s dream (Inception reference…). That if I put one toe out of the line, their subconscious will rip me to shreds. I am way too concerned about what others think about me, about what others say to me. About all the scolding that I may get, about the failures that I may encounter along the way. If someone tells me I did something wrong, I will just swell up with anger. I would think about it for hours on end. I would ignore just about everything in the world, and drown deeper into the nightmare that I’ve created. I’ve tried to tell myself that what others say cannot possibly hurt me, what others think of me is of no concern to me. But it is not working. Not at all. It seems my image of me, my ego is very fragile and damaged easily.

I’ve got to reprogram my mind. I’ve got to be stronger and grow up. I can’t wait for a saviour to come and miraculously save me from the abyss that I’ve imagined for myself. I’ve got to be that saviour. This is my life, and I am its architect.

But the problem is : Words are cheap. Actions are costly. If only I could perform inception, and sow the positive idea into my mind…

On Twitter !!!

Just joined twitter guys…

You can follow me :@BillGladstone14

Petrified on the Dance Floor of Life

“All the world is a stage…

And all the men and women merely players…”


These famous lines by Shakespeare are factual for me. The entire world is a stage, and all of us are playing a part. But contrary to a real drama on-stage, we are not necessarily acting. We are living. Because we are not playing a role, we are not presenting a character. We  are playing ourselves. And sometimes I wonder how good it would be to play someone else. Someone who’s just not me. Then I’d be able to play the part without fear. Because whatever happens, however bad it turns out in the end, it is not me who ends up that way. It’s the character.

In life you don’t have that luxury. You are playing yourself. And however you end up, it’s on you. You can’t blame your co-stars, you cant blame the script. Because there is no script. This is improvisation at it’s best. Winner take all. Loser gets nothing. Its how you play your part.

And right now, on the dance floor of life, I have my performance coming up, and I’m petrified. I am terrified of the limelight, I’m anxious of making a mistake, I am scared of not making the cut. Above all, I am scared of my co-stars. Because it doesn’t matter how well you play your part, it matters that you play your part better than the rest. If you don’t, you drown in the depths of obscurity.


Coming out of the allegory, I have my exams coming up. Competitive exams that will decide whether I can pursue my PG studies in a prestigious institution or not. And the problem is, I can’t study. I don’t feel the urge to study. There is so much to study, and every time I open a book, it seems to me I’m looking at Greek and Latin. I can’t focus and I can’t concentrate. And the weirdest thing is, I am a straight A student.


When I’m studying for my usual semester exams, I don’t have a problem. I can go on for hours, I can study for hours on end and learn new concepts with ease. But when the bar is set a bit high, when the competitive exams come into play, I suck. I am nowhere in the equation. And pretty soon, I am about to prove myself incapable.

Yet again.

Any help would be greatly appreciated people !!!

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